saturday night out

I spend the day at home feeling lousy.  I try to cancel theater tickets for tonight but can’t.  The show is sold out for the rest of its short run.  I clean up, put some color on, look at a brightened version of me and feel marginally better.

I meet Zelia at a great pizza place in the East Village called Numero 28.  We each order individual-sized pizzas; I get one covered with cherry tomatoes and oozing mozzarella.  We both look at our meals and say, “That’s a lot of pizza.  I’ll never finish it.”  But shamefully we do, and even split a dessert of just-made tiramisu.

It’s a weather-perfect night, in the 50’s.  After dinner we have some time and walk around the East Village.  It’s easy to fall in love with New York many times over.  Its many charming neighborhoods have their own personalities and distinct flavors.  If I had to choose one word to describe the East Village I think it would be fringe.  Everything here feels a little bit left of center.

The play we see is Belleville by Amy Herzog (a new, young playwright).  It’s 100 minutes with no intermission and it captivates us from word one.  I quickly forget my bothersome cold as I watch a young American couple chillingly disintegrate in their Paris apartment.

spring fever, sort of

Yesterday I awoke with a scratchy throat, watery eyes, stuffy nose, and a clogged head.  Is it allergies (which I don’t think I’ve ever had but the pollen levels are high) or is it just an iirritating cold?  I have no idea and not sure it even matters.

I have Sudafed Day in my house, but it’s for cold and flu.  I definitely don’t have the flu and am not sure if I even have a cold.  I go to my local pharmacy and buy Claritin-D 24 hours.  I pay the exhorbitant reduced price of $16.79 (for 10 pills), and show a picture ID.

I look at the ads.  The handsome spokesman promises that Claritin-D will reduce my congestion, and start to work in just 30 minutes.

I pop a pill, expecting miraculous relief.  It’s been about an hour and I see little difference.

Two hours later:  Nose more runny, less congested.  Head a tiny bit less heavy.  Throat a bit less scratchy.  Overall, though, still feeling yucky and tired.

Go to 16 Handles for a late lunch.  Haven’t been in ages.  The sorbet yogurt provides immediate relief to my scratchy throat while also satisfying my growling stomach.  It works faster and better than the Claritin-D and costs a lot less — just a shame it doesn't work for 24-hours.

finding the right gift

It’s my sister’s 60^th birthday next week, and I’ve been struggling with what to buy her.  Valerie has impeccable taste.  Dresses exquisitely.  Can buy herself anything.  And recognizes and appreciates good quality.

I first consider an Hermes enamel bracelet.  But she has at least one.  I would make her a photo album, but I did that a few years ago.  She has many gorgeous frames of her handsome family so that is out.  I think and think and decide finally on a scarf.

I begin at Saks.  I love the Alexander McQueen scarves, and find two patterns in orange I like.  I send them to M to review.  She has great taste and knows my sister.

She writes back:  Love the colors hate the skulls. 

My next stops are Louis Vuitton and Fendi.  Nothing affordable at either place that Valerie would like.  On to Bergdorf’s.

I am still keeping with the scarf theme.  I see a wool and silk wrap.  It feels luxurious, but it’s by a designer I’ve never heard off and the wrinkles need to be steamed out.  I send a photo to M.

Her response is fast.  She hates it.  She doesn’t like the two-tone colors.  She’s certain Valerie won’t either.  She's right.  Now what?

I go back to the first floor and look at little leather pieces by Goyard.  Nothing affordable that’s nice.  Same with anything by Loro Piano.  I wander over to the Hermes scarves.  I look first at the small silk squares.  They are pretty but too small.  But the larger ones are exactly the right size, would be something I’m pretty sure my sister would love, and they come in many designs.  I end up picking one that is spring-y, sophisticated, beautiful and understated.  Just like Valerie.  I hope she likes it.

staples, an emotional purchase

March of 1999.  That was the last time I bought staples.  I know because for some odd reason I put the date on the box.  Today I run out of staples, and wonder what life was like 14 years ago when I bought this box. 

From the time Alexander was born, and for the next 14 years, I wrote Alexander letters and mailed them to our home.  I thought when Alexander was an adult, it would be interesting for him to see his life through my eyes.  I have a box with hundreds of unopened letters that I still haven’t given to Alexander, although he knows of them. At this point in his life, he wouldn’t welcome all that additional reading.

But I was curious. What was going on when I bought the box of staples I just finished?  I found this letter from around that time.  It was written to Alexander when he was six.

June 20 99

Sunday, 9:36 PM

Alexander darling:

Yesterday you went to Sagaponack with daddy so that you could be together (along with nonno and lala) for Father's Day.  I get a chance to do a lot of boring catching-up type things when you're away, but I do inevitably miss you.

Right now you are asleep on my floor, as that is what substitutes for your room in the summer.  Unfortunately your room has no air conditioning, and the building will not let me install one.  And even though tonight is not very warm at all, you have gotten used to the summer routine of sleeping in my room atop a bed of comforters and big pillows, along with the drone of the air conditioner…regardless of the temperature.  I admit that I too, love the security of knowing that you are safely asleep next to me.

This is your last week of kindergarten, and I am a bit sad thinking that already this school year is ending.  You are growing up so quickly.  Your math skills are exceptional, and you are just starting to recognize words, though I cannot really say you are reading.  Right now you prefer being "read to" than actually reading.  But you are so proud when you are able to sound out a word.

I want to tell you about your first crush…or rather, what appears to be the first crush on you.  I have no doubt that there will be many more.

On Friday you got a note, written by a child, that said something like,

Dear Alexander,

I like you.  I would like to be your friend.  I am a boy.

 I am Karla's brother.

Karla is a girl in your class.  I went up to Pam (your teacher) and asked who Karla's brother is, since I didn't know him.  Pam's astonished response was, "Karla doesn't have a brother.  She only has a sister."

That night Sasha called you.  It turns out that Karla's brother is actually Sasha, Karla's eight-year-old sister, who was afraid that if she revealed her true sex to you all chances for any friendship would disappear.  And so now on next Tuesday, you, Sasha, and Karla are having a play date.

Last week you went to your friend Stephen's pirate-themed birthday party.  Later you told me that you hit a "petunia" and a bunch of toys and candies fell out of it.  I think your "petunia" was meant as a "piñata."

As for other things….not a lot is new.  We got a new computer and printer.  I was very proud of myself for having set both up.  The computer is a state of the art Sony Slimline with a flat screen monitor….600 megahertz and 12 gigs.  I only write all that so that later you can have a reference of how outdated my new "state of the art" computer is.  Who knows what you'll be using by the time you read this.  I grew up in a time where there were vinyl records (no CD's), no VCR's, and electronic typewriters were for the elite, while the masses struggled with manual typewriters and White Out to erase mistakes.  How quickly the world has changed technologically in such a short time, but how much more accelerated the pace has become.  Hard to imagine 10 years for now!

My last check from Discovery is only a little over a month away and I am still I-don't-know-how-far-away from a job.  I am starting to get very nervous and scared.  I have been saving money but if I have to start using that money just to live I am fearful that we will never have enough money to buy a bigger and better place to live.  Basically I saved $1,000 a month last year, and right now my monthly living expenses are about $5,500.  It's easy to see how quickly money goes.   It's so hard not to be rich and live in New York.

Ah……be thankful you are still so many years away from grown-up worries.  And hopefully your life will be devoid of the really big ones.

I love you sweetie.  Night-night.

So now it’s 2013 and much has changed since I wrote that letter.

•  Alexander doesn’t sleep in my room anymore. 
• He can now read.
• He will soon finish his sophomore year of college, not kindergarten. 
• My MacBook Pro (bought four years ago) with 2.53 GHz is about four times faster than my state-of- the-art Sony  purchased in 1999.
•  VCR’s are pretty much obsolete, having been replaced by DVR’s.
•   iTunes and iPods were still a year and a half away from being introduced.    
•   I never bought a bigger and better place.  I never bought any place. 
•  Monthly expenses are now closer to $10,000.   
•   I am again unemployed.
•  I am in much worse shape financially than I was then. 
•   It is still hard to not be rich and live in New York.

Today I buy a new box of staples and wonder how different the world will be when this box runs out.  It’ll probably be 2027, fourteen years from now.  I will be 76 and Alexander will be 35.  What will computers be like then?  What new inventions will be in use that we haven’t even considered?  Where will we be living?  What type of work will Alexander be doing?  Will he be married?  Will I be a grandmother?

So much to consider when you are buying a new box of staples. 

two nights, two seders

Monday

Some snowflakes actually fall today.  The tree branches are bare.  Tonight is the first night of Passover and I am still in winter clothes.  Good.  I can wear boots and not worry about uncomfortable —but stylish — shoes.

Valerie hosts 17 people at her home, a home that could easily grace the pages of House Beautiful.  The food, as always, is excellent.  The Seder rituals, as usual, are mercifully short.  And the company, as expected, is totally fun.  This year’s addition includes a 9-month old baby (a friend of the family’s daughter).  It’s amazing how a non-speaking, non-walking person can become the focal point of conversation.  Matilda is a bundle of smiles, and already knows that this is a group with no tolerance for whining. 

I leave wondering how I can possibly make room for another big dinner tomorrow night.

Tuesday

The sun is out but the temperature is still in the 40’s.  It’s another cold day.  Tonight Jill (Abbey’s sister) is hosting the Seder for a slightly smaller group — only 11.  Still full from last night, and expecting a lot of food tonight, I only eat a small yogurt, a handful of cashews, and a few cups of coffee throughout the day.

Valerie and Jill coordinate menus to insure no overlaps.  The only exception is a 7-layer cake among the many dessert choices.  And both nights I indulge.

Two nights with family and I could easily do a third.  But only if the food options were under 500 calories.  Another night of big-eating and soon I'd have nothing that fits.

addiction

This weekend at the home show I fall in love with a buffet. 

All weekend I agonize over getting it.  I could pay it off slowly.  It is the perfect piece for my apartment.  I spend two sleepless nights thinking about it.  I ask the opinions of friends.  I measure and re-measure the space where it would go.  I imagine how beautiful it would look as you walk into my apartment.  I have until 6pm to decide, as the show price is half the price the company is selling the buffet for at ABC. I even call ABC and ask for a three-month extension.  They consult with the company’s owner.  The answer comes back.  No.  Sunday at 6; after that the price doubles.  I’ll never see anything so perfect again.  I think and re-think it, right up until the 6pm deadline.  I don’t buy it, and at 6:05, feel more relief than sadness.

I have no debt but I have no savings.  And worse, I have no money coming in, nor do I have any prospects for work.  I often wonder how someone with such a stellar education and great experience could end up here?  I am consumed by my lack of money.  And yet, too often I am tempted.

This morning I am half-watching The Today Show.  Italy overturns poor Amanda Knox’s murder acquittal.  Same sex marriage is being considered by the Supreme Court.  Spring weather may be on the way.  And best-selling author Buzz Bissinger has written a book about his addiction to shopping.  Huh?????

I give the TV my full attention.  The author of Friday Night Lights has written a book about his addiction to shopping.   He writes, “As I entered my mid-50’s, it  gave me a new sense of self-expression and an intoxicating rush.”  Buzz has spent $587M on clothes since 2010, including a $22M Gucci lamb’s wool coat and a $5.6M pair of D&G leather pants. 

Okay, I am not nearly as bad as Buzz.  But we do share this:  having nice things makes me feel good.  And for furniture, that feeling is not fleeting.  Several years ago I spent a lot on a mattress.  Every night when I get into bed I am so glad I did.

I am happy I did not buy the buffet.  And my spending is very much in control.  In fact, my American Express bills this month and last are the smallest they've been in a very long time. 

But still, the temptation is always there.