again

Another cloudless fall day.

Another Tuesday.

I get a news alert saying something about a truck and maybe someone killed in lower Manhattan. 

An accident is my first thought. Just like it was sixteen years ago on that other sunny Tuesday.

But it isn't an accident.

It's another deliberate act of terror.

Innocent people going about their day. Totally unsuspecting.  Murdered. Maimed.

There is no comparison in the magnitude of the two days. 

Our innocence was lost on September 11, 2001.

I remember being so scared that I would never feel safe again.

I thought of moving.  Even looked at homes in Connecticut.

I worried that I couldn't protect my 8 eight-year old son.

Eventually that fear subsided, though it took a while.

I no longer exited busses when I saw someone who looked strange.

I didn't run from the city every weekend.

I stopped sleeping on friends' couches.

Life continued.

Today is just another reminder; no one is ever safe anymore. Not really.

Sick minds are one thing, but calculated murder on complete innocents, under the guise of religion or politics? That I don't understand.

I will still ride the subway. Go to Times Square. Eat in restaurants. And live life as it should be lived.

Because I can. 

My heart breaks for today's eight people who cannot.