all right mr. de mille, I'm ready for my close-up

So as a background actor there is a range of on-camera visibility — from zero to recognizable.

In early May I go to Park Slope in Brooklyn. 

Call time is 7pm.

I  debate going at all as I don't usually do night shoots. But I'm told, "It's only one scene. It'll probably wrap early."

It doesn't.

I arrive around 6:45pm to learn they haven't finished shooting scenes from the day.

We don't get on set until midnight.

Then there are endless cut, reset, and action commands. 

I get home around 2am.

But hey, becoming a star requires flexibility. Hollywood doesn't have normal working hours. 

This was for a new TV series on Hulu called Everything's Trash.  It premiered July 13 to very good reviews.

Yesterday I go back and fast-forward through the seven episodes that are now streaming hoping to find me. 

I don't.  

I decide to try again.

This time I fast-forward more slowly. Scene by scene.

And then, at the very end of episode three,  I find me. 

So exciting. I now have a real chance at being discovered.

a short trip up to the cape

Robin picks me up a little after 7 on Friday morning and we drive up to the Cape, where we stay until yesterday. 

Despite the gorgeous beach, nice weather, and good local food, Robin is fascinated most by the golf carts that transport everyone around the area where my mom lives. It's the way most people get to the private beach that makes WIld Harbor so special.

My mom has had a bad case of bronchitis that has lasted over a month. So while I usually go up to the Cape for a few weeks each summer, this is my first (and likely only) time up this year.

The weather is great. The scorching heat has finally abated. 

As per usual, I:

• Eat my annual serving of fried clams at Crabapples.
• Spend hours sitting (and reading) and sunning on Wild Harbor Beach. 

• Pick up daily sandwiches at either Dean's or Westside Market.
• Stop by my good friend M's just as the sun is setting. And, 

• Visit Mashpee Commons, specifically to buy the wonderful Traditional Balsamic at The Little Shop.

One night we all have dinner at M's new house on the water. And again we are treated to the majestic setting sun. 

Jean comes with Jim and Sally and one of her creative and beautiful salads.

It's a perfect summer's night, replete with good conversation and many laughs.

On our last day, Robin and I go to the beach, despite it being a slightly overcast day.

We are entertained by this woman who doesn't know beach etiquette.

We are on a near-empty beach.

and this woman plops her chair almost on top of ours.

It's like sitting in a near-empty movie theater and having someone sit down in the seat next to yours. 

The time on the Cape goes by quickly. 

It'll probably be a while before I'm back doing this.

Or seeing my mom's beautiful smile.

fake arrest

I like the concept of getting these background jobs better than the reality of doing them.

The other day I applied and was excepted, to play a perp in a squad room — much more interesting than being a pedestrian.

I am given these guidelines for wardrobing:

PERPS: Please bring your best “down and out” look - distressed or old/worn clothing works best - think of character types (i.e. drunk, gang member, thug, homeless person, drug addict, prostitute, sex worker, etc.) - jeans with holes, baggy jeans or pants, sweatpants, mesh shorts, cargo shorts, oversized t-shirts, graphic t-shirts as a layering piece, plaid shirts, light hoodies, denim jackets, bomber jackets, plain baseball caps or knit caps (no logos or graphics please) - when in doubt bring something dark or black - color is ok, just no white or light/bright colors.  NO BLUE!

Well, clearly I'm not playing a prostitute. The stilettos  I'd have to wear would be too uncomfortable. (That, and a few other reasons).

So I make up my own backstory. I'll be a lowlife who commits a robbery with a knife. 

I go through my closet and realize that in the past two years, I've donated or sold most everything I don't like or need. In other words, I don't have anything that is really appropriate for the part.

This is the best I can come up with.

Jeans with holes in them and a flannel shirt that of course happens to be blue.

The shoot is in a place called Canarsie Brooklyn. Upon arriving I see this on the street and think it's part of the set.

It's not.

Someone else walks by a large dead black cat with both its eyes and mouth open. On the sidewalk. Nearby.

Justin, the very nice wardrobe guy, looks at me and agrees that my clothes are too nice.

He fits me in an oversized pair of corduroy pull-on pants, a man's very large flannel shirt, and a tank top. All in colors I'd never buy. 

I wash my hair this morning and just let it go. Pretty much the way I wear it most days,  The hair person looks at me and says, "Your hair is perfect." I'm not sure if I should feel bad or good.

 

I'm the only female perp. The other four are all males.

It's about 100 degrees today (literally). My clothes are perfect for a cold winter's day. And the set has no AC.

I'm the one who gets to do the perp walk through the station. 

Hands handcuffed behind my back and looking sad, chunky, unkempt, and overall awful. 

Around 4, I am told I can leave. 

One of the assistants tells me that I've been seen a lot on camera, so they're able to dismiss me early.

I'm back home by 5:30, totally exhausted by the heat. But happy to be in my own cool clothes.

lost

The weather's been brutal.

Over 90, day after day.

I'm working on the TV show Succession this week — as an upscale NY society type on a yacht somewhere.

So today I need to go to Astoria Queens for a COVID test.   It's a borough I know as well as Bejing. 

I leave early, 7:45.

I  take the R train; exit at my stop, and enter a foreign land.

I look at Google Maps, expecting to see directions leading me to a nearby Kauffman Studios.

Instead, I see that it'll take me 1 hr and 43 minutes to walk the 5 plus miles to arrive at my destination.

F**K!!!!!!!

Last night when I was looking at the directions, I noted that I needed to take the R train headed in the direction of Forest Hills Queens/71st St. 

This morning I make the mistake of actually taking the subway all the way to Forest Hills Queens/71st St. It's the very last stop. Not the three stops it should have been.

I have no idea where I am.

So I get back on the subway. 

And then I hear a disturbing message I've never heard before on any subway.

"This train is being diverted off its regular route."

F**K!  F**K!  F**K!

Now I'm really lost.

I eventually find some helpful people and make it onto another subway, exiting at a stop I never knew existed.

Then I take a bus. 

I start to ask the driver a question to double-check I'm going in the right direction and she says, "You need to pay before I can answer your question." 

At first I think she's joking. She's not.

Finally I arrive.

Two hours after leaving home.

The COVID test takes about 15 seconds.

The ride back is as it should be ... home in thirty minutes.

Addendum: 

After turning down another job, and after figuring out how to get to the set tomorrow and what wardrobe to bring, I get this email around 6 tonight. 

Hi there,

You are receiving this email because you have been booked to work tomorrow Friday 8/5 on Succession.

Due to a change in numbers based on the scenes filming tomorrow and filming ahead of schedule, you will no longer be needed for work.

Production will pay you a half day's check for the inconvenience, plus your stipend for the COVID test.

Oh well. I guess that's show biz. 

Plus next week I'm playing a perp in a squad room for another show. Perfect. Sneakers, and little makeup. From a socialite to an addict... I have a very big range.