fake arrest

I like the concept of getting these background jobs better than the reality of doing them.

The other day I applied and was excepted, to play a perp in a squad room — much more interesting than being a pedestrian.

I am given these guidelines for wardrobing:

PERPS: Please bring your best “down and out” look - distressed or old/worn clothing works best - think of character types (i.e. drunk, gang member, thug, homeless person, drug addict, prostitute, sex worker, etc.) - jeans with holes, baggy jeans or pants, sweatpants, mesh shorts, cargo shorts, oversized t-shirts, graphic t-shirts as a layering piece, plaid shirts, light hoodies, denim jackets, bomber jackets, plain baseball caps or knit caps (no logos or graphics please) - when in doubt bring something dark or black - color is ok, just no white or light/bright colors.  NO BLUE!

Well, clearly I'm not playing a prostitute. The stilettos  I'd have to wear would be too uncomfortable. (That, and a few other reasons).

So I make up my own backstory. I'll be a lowlife who commits a robbery with a knife. 

I go through my closet and realize that in the past two years, I've donated or sold most everything I don't like or need. In other words, I don't have anything that is really appropriate for the part.

This is the best I can come up with.

Jeans with holes in them and a flannel shirt that of course happens to be blue.

The shoot is in a place called Canarsie Brooklyn. Upon arriving I see this on the street and think it's part of the set.

It's not.

Someone else walks by a large dead black cat with both its eyes and mouth open. On the sidewalk. Nearby.

Justin, the very nice wardrobe guy, looks at me and agrees that my clothes are too nice.

He fits me in an oversized pair of corduroy pull-on pants, a man's very large flannel shirt, and a tank top. All in colors I'd never buy. 

I wash my hair this morning and just let it go. Pretty much the way I wear it most days,  The hair person looks at me and says, "Your hair is perfect." I'm not sure if I should feel bad or good.

 

I'm the only female perp. The other four are all males.

It's about 100 degrees today (literally). My clothes are perfect for a cold winter's day. And the set has no AC.

I'm the one who gets to do the perp walk through the station. 

Hands handcuffed behind my back and looking sad, chunky, unkempt, and overall awful. 

Around 4, I am told I can leave. 

One of the assistants tells me that I've been seen a lot on camera, so they're able to dismiss me early.

I'm back home by 5:30, totally exhausted by the heat. But happy to be in my own cool clothes.