young men

A wise principal at my son's elementary school was giving a talk. In it, she said something about being a parent. "It's forever like having your heart walk around outside your body."

When Alexander lived at home, I could never fall asleep until he was back at home safely. He never understood that my wanting him home at a reasonable hour had more to do with my being able to get a decent night's sleep than with setting some arbitrary curfew.

When my son decided to play football in high school I was more than a little grateful that his football team was not very good. And, he played cornerback so he rarely (if ever) got tackled.

When my son went off to college I no longer had that worry, though many other ones replaced it. 

And when Alexander decided to buy a car this past summer, I found a brand new big worry. Forget the fact that he never really drove before, despite getting his license in 2011. Will he be focused? Will he be smart? Will he ignore his phone? And what about all those other drivers? Even writing about all the unpleasant possibilities makes me anxious.

Recently two good friends of mine lost their twenty-something-year-old sons. Utterly heartbreaking. It is a vulnerable time in a young man's life, and all the decisions they make can, and sometimes do, have dire consequences.

There are so many things that can go wrong. Freak accidents. Close calls. Poor outcomes of questionable actions. Bad luck. Risky behavior. I look back on my own life and think of all the stupid things I've done, and feel lucky that the results were never that grave.

A few weeks ago, unbeknownst to me, Alexander and a good friend make plans to go South Beach for a few days. Yes, that South Beach. In Miami.

Did I want him to go? Of course not. Does he listen to me? Of course not.

He arrives home safely early this morning. So no arrests, at least. Now I have to worry for two weeks to see if he brought back with him any unwanted virus.

But Alexander had a great time. "Maybe the best four days of my life," he tells me. My son is happy. So of course I'm happy too.