Sunday, April 12, 2015

some risks are bigger than others

Life is full of risk. Some are calculated; others are not. Some we take after carefully weighing the pros and cons; others we take because our hearts tell us to. And some we take just because, well, why not?

In 1974 Don surprises me with Jesse, an Irish Setter puppy.  I fall in love, but don't have the maturity or lifestyle to adequately care for a dog. Even one as perfect as Jesse. She eats my sofa, my friend Scott's plants, and remains totally undisciplined, despite my meek efforts to the contrary. Eventually I give Jesse to a more responsible family, but for a few months continue to visit her, as one would a shared-custody child.

In 1976 I move to Chicago without a job. Soon I find one, along with a great apartment and new friends. It's an impulsive move, but a life-changing one. Okay, so I don't end up with the guy I followed there, but all these years later and Don and I are still good friends. And my roommate Hazel is someone I am still close to.

In 1979 I marry Tim, a man who is kind and thoughtful and unlike anyone I've ever dated. It doesn't work out. Tim eventually moves to San Francisco; I stay.  Over time we lose touch. This relationship doesn't have the happy ending I'd hoped for.

In 1981 I reluctantly move back to Boston. I take a job at Gillette that I initially had rejected, after accepting one at a big advertising agency in Chicago. I so don't want to move.  But I love working at Gillette, and there I meet new friends and a new guy; the new friends (M, V and Gail) enrich my life; the new guy brings me equal parts passion and heartache. 

In 1985 I move to New York without knowing a single person and barely making enough money to live. Had I calculated my expenses against my income,  I would not have moved. And that would have been a colossal mistake.

In 1992 I get pregnant and never once consider not having the baby. It is the best decision I ever made.

Today I finally go from this:


To this:


As I said, some risks are bigger than others.  And watch, tomorrow it'll be back to 40.

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