not defined by a job

You're in a bar. At a party. On a plane. You strike up a conversation. You ask, or are asked, "So what do you do for a living?" It's probably the most common question asked after, "What's your name?"

You get or give an answer. And boom. Immediate assumptions are made. About education. Drive. Interests. Income. Status in life. 

I sign up for Lyft, a car service. I am given five free rides, up to $10 each, but it's only good for a week. Mine expire in a couple of days. 

Tonight I am going to see Prodigal Son with Jill at Manhattan Theater Club. It's raining. I only have two more days to use my Lyft credits. I decide to try it.

Jonathan picks me up at my front door, four minutes from my call.  After a few short minutes we strike up a conversation.

"How do you like driving for Lyft?" I ask.

"It's fine. Not something I'd want to do for long."

"What would you rather be doing?" I ask. 

I'm expecting Jonathan will now tell me his dreams for becoming a screenwriter or actor.

"Something in education. I'm a substitute teacher."

Not quite the response I expected. Then he goes on.

"I used to be a teacher but I'd rather work in education outside the classroom, helping other teachers or administrators."

The conversation continues.  Turns out, Jonathan, my Lyft driver, graduated from Wharton undergrad. Worked on Wall Street at Morgan Stanley. Didn't like it. Got a Masters degree from Columbia in Education. Is now living at home. Has enormous love and respect for his parents. His dad is white, from Germany, and a psychiatrist. His mom is black, from Jamaica, and a social worker.  

I ask him, "So what did you do on Wall Street?"

"I  worked on the investment side of real estate," he tells me.

This is exactly what Alexander wants to do.

Before exiting the car, Jonathan gives me his contact information and suggests that Alexander call him.  "I still know a lot of people in the business," he tells me.

The ride costs me $1.44 (including my $10 credit).

I leave the cab thinking I'm not unlike Jonathan.  I'm sure people make assumptions about me as I run around to find a size small red ALC top. 

I sometimes want to say, this isn't who I am. 

I used to be...

I can be...

I am...