"I'm sorry; our hands are tied."

I can no longer open the 3-gallon bottles of water that I get delivered from Poland Spring,  now called Ready Refresh since Nestle bought it.

Apparently the packaging on the bottles has changed, and the plastic on the cap is impossible to get off. I have cut myself with a box cutter trying to open the bottles, and have even enlisted the help of both my strong handyman and next door neighbor. 

So two weeks ago I call Ready Refresh. They tell me that the new packaging allows for consumers with newer model coolers to use these bottles and the caps. Apparently the coolers are configured to puncture the bottle caps, thus not needing to remove them first. Very nice if you have a new cooler; not so nice if you don't. I don't.

I've owned my cooler for many years without problem. And now this. So I call Ready Refresh.

"No problem," the customer service rep tells me. "We'll arrange to deliver to you an easy-to-install kit for your old cooler."

Perfect. Except it doesn't arrive.

I call again. Same thing happens. No delivery on the promised date.

And so I call a third time.  After a 15 minute hold "while I investigate," Laurie comes back on the phone with bad news. "I'm sorry but those kits are no longer in stock. In fact, they were never available for this branch. They were only distributed in California."

"Okay," I say. "So what's the solution if you live in New York?"

And the answer that Laurie gives me, and this is a direct quote, is, "I'm sorry. Our hands are tied."

Really Laurie?  Then untie them.

So I ask for a supervisor and get Christine Gueriere. Her solution is better, though far from perfect.

She'll give me a cooler with a free rental for two years. But after two years? "We can negotiate then."

So for now at least, I'm happy. 

As is my super who got my old, perfectly-working cooler.