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Room all set.

New clothes in place.

A baby nurse hired for the first week.

And time to adjust (I was on maternity leave from my job at CNBC, not knowing that I'd be let go before having the chance to return).

My mom and dad drive up from the Cape as soon as Eric calls with the news that they are grandparents to their fourth grandchild, a boy, like the other three.

I was a single mom, at a time when there weren't that many. Murphy Brown was one of the few I knew of.  

I thought I was ready. And I pretty much was. 

The first few weeks were the hardest, and then it was pretty easy until about kindergarten. 

That's when I started fearing more, and questioning my abilities as a single parent. 

But I never once had any regrets. Quite the opposite. I have always felt immensely lucky that I get to be Alexander's mother. 

Sure, there were times that were tough.

His epic tantrums over the smallest thing.

The hurts I couldn't fix.

A bad nanny who wouldn't leave my house until I had to call the police.

His early friendship with a young, wild, and beyond misbehaved best friend (who was a very bad influence and could often be cruel).

The challenging teen years.

A few college grades.

And his leaving NYC for a few years to live in Philadelphia, and then Austin. 

I think the thing I was least prepared for was all the worrying that goes along with being a parent. And the worst thing is that it never ends. It just gets bigger.

• Has he chosen a career path that will make him happy?
• Will he meet and marry someone he adores?
• Will he stay living in New York?
• Will he not get distracted when driving? (I worry about this all the time).
• Will he stay safe and be careful? The world (and this city) is full of potential dangers.

Tonight his grandmother (Diane to me, Lala to my son) and I take Alexander to Sempre Oggi to celebrate his birthday. We sit down and are handed menus. It is Alexander who notices the restaurant's thoughtful touch (I added the arrow).

I haven't seen Diane in a while as she now spends most of her time in the Hamptons, though she also lives here. It is truly a magical night. Great food, conversation, and total agreement on politics (which we just couldn't avoid). Diane is clearly the most liberal of us three. She and Alexander often disagree but not tonight.