looking for a simple answer

My questioning  (my son would say nagging) starts about three weeks ago.

Me:  Hi.  So, do you think you’ll be coming home for Columbus Day Weekend?

Alexander:  Ya, probably.

Me:  Great.  What day will you be coming home? 

Alexander:  I don’t know.  Probably Friday.

Me:  Okay, but if you want to take the Cornell bus (so much nicer, no stops, delivery practically to our front door, but fills up quickly), you better book the bus now.

Alexander:  Okay.  Thanks.

About two weeks ago.

Me:  Do you know when you’re coming home yet.

Alexander:  No.  I haven’t really thought about it.

You’d think my son would want the nicer bus ride home, but that takes a little bit of planning.  The local bus from Ithaca to Port Authority is half the cost of the Cornell bus, but includes many stops, and questionable unbathed characters.

About a week ago.

Me:  I have a couple of movie screenings that I’ll sign us up for when you’re home.

Alexander:  What are they?

Me: Birdman and St. Vincent.

Alexander:  How are they rated?

Me:  R.  (I guess at the ratings and later find out that St. Vincent is PG-13).

Alexander:  What genre?

Me:  I don’t know.

Alexander:  What kind of scores did they get on Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB?

Honestly, you’d think I was asking him to see the 8 ½ hour play, The Life and Adventures of Nicholas Nickleby, all in one sitting.

Yesterday.

Me:  So, when are you coming home?

Alexander: I can’t talk.  I AM SO MAD.  Someone stole my backpack with all my notes in it for my test tomorrow..  I had a lot of books in it too and my phone charger.  But luckily my phone and computer weren’t in it.

Me: What about your wallet?

Alexander: No, that wasn’t in it either.

This morning

Me: Did you find your backpack?

Alexander:  No, who makes it?

Me:  Swiss Gear.

Alexander:  Awwwwwww.  I told the police and the library that it was LL Bean (the backpack Alexander used to have, two years ago).  I’ll tell them it's Swiss Gear.

Me:  So, when are you coming home.

Alexander:  I don’t know.  Maybe tomorrow.

Me:  Maybe tomorrow?

Alexander:  Ya, tomorrow.  I gotta run.  My phone is running out of batteries.

So, lesson learned.  Don’t bother asking three weeks in advance or even one day in advance.  The answer will be the same.

I guess I’ll see him when I see him. Probably tomorrow.