A good friend of mine moves into a new apartment building. H knows of it because two close friends of hers live there. A few years after moving in, one of H's friends cuts her off completely. There is no major drama that precedes it. No falling out. No slights. No angry phone call. Nada. H is more bewildered than hurt. It's also awkward because now H and her once-friend live in the same building.
S, another friend of mine, has a long and close 20-year relationship with a woman and her husband. In fact, the friend later moves into the same building as S in one of the hip outer boroughs. A few years ago at dinner, S's friend begins a conversation that ends with her telling S all the many things she dislikes about her. This follows a pleasant night out together. While they still live in the same building, they haven't spoken since.
Many years ago I worked with someone named Susan. We were close friends. She came to my 40th surprise birthday party, and then refused all my phone calls after. I still have no idea what went wrong to end our six-year friendship.
Recently, two friends of mine had birthdays. I call both (and leave messages) and write on their FB pages. On one, I even post a picture from college. Others comment on the picture, and my childhood friend comments on the comments, but to me writes nothing. Neither friend has called me back (despite my request that they do), and I haven't spoken to either in over a year. I have no idea why.
I suppose I could ask my two friends why, but I don't have room in my head or heart right now to take on any personal confrontations.
It is both strange and sad when people you want in your life tiptoe out of it.
Addendum (written March 17)
On my birthday, my childhood friend neither called nor sent a photo or personal sentiment. Her message, posted on Facebook, simply said, "Have a super happy birthday!" Like something you'd say to someone you barely know.
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