big birthday day

A month and a half ago my brother-in-law Abbey turned the same age I am today.  In typical Abbey fashion, when I called to wish him a happy birthday, he replied, "I feel the same as I did yesterday."

A couple of weeks later, Jim, my other brother-in-law, had his birthday for the same age. He celebrated by skiing with his family in Vail. To him, it was also no big deal.

I wish I could say the same. For me, this is a tough birthday. 

I guess I just don't feel, nor think I think, like the age tells me I should. I mean, for a millisecond, I was even contemplating a cropped moto jacket. And I'm still out searching for that perfect job. And three days a week I'm climbing ladders and running around next to mostly 20-somethings. And, I'm the mother of one, and no where close (I hope) to becoming a grandmother.

I love Facebook for many things, but particularly for birthday wishes. I get lots of them, most from people I am rarely in touch with — friends from high school, people from past jobs, old boyfriends, business colleagues, blog friends I've never met, current friends, distant friends, and even an actor whom I met after an off-broadway play, who just last night got a rave review from Ben Brantley for his new play.

My sister offers to take me to lunch, but I am working on a presentation that needs to be completed by tomorrow so regretfully decline.  I will be celebrating with friends and family over the coming weeks, which will be nice. My mom wanted to come in, but we decided that for a variety of scheduling reasons this isn't the best week. 

But Alexander is home, and it's with him I will celebrate. But not until the end of the day.

The day is pleasantly uneventful. Lots of phone calls. Beautiful cards. Emails. Sentiments by good friends and family that honestly make me cry. A free brow wax at Benefit. A non-free wax elsewhere. A bunch of local errands. And some prep for a meeting tomorrow.

I open my cards, as well as a box from M. She had told me weeks ago, "I saw the perfect gift for you in a store window, pulled over and bought it."  It's a gorgeous cashmere and silk scarf.  Colorful, with just enough black to make it perfect for a million different outfits. 

But unfurled, it's this; the NYC subway map.





Such a personal and special gift for this New York City girl — something I will continue to call myself, even on a very big birthday.