is the question really that difficult?

"Hi, this is Katie. How can I help you today?"

I'm calling my insurance company to see if my quarterly payments can automatically be charged to my credit card.

I just got a bill in the mail, and one payment option is to manually add my credit card information and then mail back the form. Who does this anymore?  All my other bills are paid electronically.

Me:  "Can I just give you my credit card info over the phone to pay my bill; I don't like putting it on a form."

K: "I'm sorry; we can't do that."

Me: "Okay, then is there a place to do this online?"

K: "No, I'm sorry there isn't."

Me: "Well, is there a way to set up an automatic quarterly payment  to my credit card?"

K: "Yes. But you'd have to download a form, fill it out, and then mail it back to us."

Me: "That's fine. I can do that once. Where do I find the form?"

Katie directs me to the company web site for the form.

Me: "The only form I see is for you to directly take the money from my bank account."

K: "Yes."

Me: "But that's not what I asked.  I want to know if I can have my American Express card automatically charged every quarter."

K: "Ma'am, I already told you. You can. But you need to fill out this form first."

Me (starting to feel like I'm in a Kafka story): "But, Katie, the form is for an automatic deduction from my bank account or paycheck."

K: "Yes. I told you that. So if you miss a payment on your credit card, we can just automatically deduct it from your bank account."

Me: "But that's not what I asked you."

I can now tell from the change in tone that Katie is beginning to find me over-the-top annoying.

K: "Every month, you still have to manually add your credit card information to the bill you receive and mail it it..."

Me:  "Katie." (I interrupt and she continues to talk).  "Katie!  Listen to me. So are you saying, then, that there is no way to automatically charge my credit card every quarter?"

K: "If you fill out the form....."

Me:  "KATIE!!!!!!  That form has nothing to do with my credit card."

K: "You still have to send in your credit card information each month," she repeats as if I'm the one who doesn't understand.

Me: "Katie. (I say this slowly and deliberately, like one would talk to a five year old.) Next time someone calls and asks, "Can I set up an automatic payment on my credit card, the answer is NO!!!!!!!!"

K: "Is there anything else I can help you with?"

Anything else? Really? What did I miss that you helped me with already?

Maybe it's the heat.