photo shoot

I really need to work. 

And any job I maybe could get I don't want.

Retail? I don't think so. I would never want a job again where I only get paid commission. And oh those returns. It's emotionally draining.

I would be great as a personal assistant. I am compulsively organized. My spreadsheets are mini masterpieces. But I'm pretty sure I would get no satisfaction from organizing some stranger's life.

And of course age is a factor. My years of experience in marketing and management are probably of little value. My degrees no longer matter. 

It's all very upsetting. Because I desperately need an income. Not even a huge one. But something.

Growing up, I always wanted to be an actress. I would practice my Oscar acceptance speech in front of my bedroom mirror. I did some acting when I was young, and later in college. But there were always people imminently more talented than I. So eventually I found a career behind the camera. Though I always loved being close to it.

My good friend Susan is a member of SAG. Last October she signs up to do extra work in movies and TV. She's consistently working. In fact, she recently worked as a stand-in for a major actress whose name you'd recognize. It was a steady, six-week job.

I register with a few places. Even pay one $230 to participate. But I need some photos that are better than the selfies I've taken.

So one day recently Susan comes over. I'd bought a tripod with light attached and we take a bunch of photos. 

Even untouched, these are so much better than the ones I'd taken.

It's nice to have a close friend who's willing to help.

Now I just hope it works.