invisible friends

My friend Q calls this morning.  I can tell immediately from her voice what she is going to ask.  

"Would you mind if I skipped theater today?"  We are seeing a matinee of Lost Lake at Manhattan Theater Club, where we've been members forever.  A week ago we were scheduled to see this play but didn't feel like going, so we rescheduled for today.  But it has finally stopped raining and it's a crisp, cold, sunny New York day.  The call doesn't surprise me.

I hardly ever see Q, though we speak daily.   She is one of my closest friends.  Today she says, "You know, it's amazing we are such good friends since we don't like to do the same things." She is right.

Q has an adorable dog named Scout, and she spends a lot of time with Scout in the Park.

She doesn't like movie theaters (even nice screening rooms) so she almost never comes with me to see a screening.  We are both cutting back on spending, so we don't go out for dinners anymore, too expensive.  And despite being one of the most well-informed people I know, she doesn't read fiction, so discussing and recommending books is something we don't do either.

But we still, always, have so much to talk about — from important news stories (the travesty of failing to get an indictment on the officer who killed Eric Garner), to frivolous ones (the man on Discovery who wasn't eaten by an anaconda).  We talk about petty annoyances and the many things that make New York City great (Q grew up here).  We often ask each other, "What would you do in this situation?"  Although I probably ask her that more than she asks me, and she always knows the players I'm referring to, even when they are nameless. We agree on most things, but not everything.  And I can always count on Q to give a truthful answer.  It's a wonderfully long, healthy, friendship (almost 20 years).  And we barely see each other, despite her living a crosstown bus away.

It's the same way with M.  I talk to her most days as well.  She lives in Boston and I live here.  But it's easy to forget the geography barrier . She is a constant in my life.  Our friendship dates back to 1981, when we first began work at Gillette, fresh out of business school.  I was even a bridesmaid in her wedding. She knows my family (as I do hers) and she knows me.  I trust her judgment and more than anyone I know (except maybe my son), she makes me laugh the hardest.

Jill (another 20 plus year friend, and one of my most favorite people) ends up coming with me to see Lost Lake (an engrossing and exceptionally acted two-person play).  She is not an invisible friend and she lives very far away...all the way in Dumbo!