the life of a chair

When I worked in marketing, everything we said on air, in copy, or on a package, had to be scrutinized by lawyers.  If it were up to them, no product would ever be sold.  There would be warning labels and caveats all over everything.  People would be afraid to buy or eat anything.

I worked at Gillette.  Can you imagine all the warning signs on razor blades if the lawyers had their way?

It was always a long negotiation with the legal team as to what claims us marketers could make that would not be considered misleading, and that were provable.  We spent millions on research.  The legal process of getting a product to market was an agonizing one.

In 2002 I needed a desk chair.  After much research, I decide on the Freedom Chair by Humanscale. 

I love this chair, and have recommended it to many others over the years.  It comes with a Lifetime Guarantee.

In 2005, I replace the leather arms when one tears.  Later that year, there is a problem with the gel seat and that is replaced as well.

Last week, I notice that the springs on the seat do not feel quite right.  I call Humanscale and am told the cylinder for the springs will be replaced.

Today I go to the company's showroom to look at chairs with a friend of mine who wants one.  I am hoping, too, that I can change out the fabric on my chair for a newer one.

My chair has a water stain on it from trying to clean it (according to the company’s website directions, with soap and water).   My salesperson is not in today, so there's no verdict yet on getting a new fabric, but I do learn this:

The Lifetime Guarantee is not for my life; it’s for the life of the chair.  And this chair has a 15-year life.

This makes me wonder.  Who approved the Lifetime Guarantee copy?  Did some marketer actually convince some lawyer that most people would interpret Lifetime Guarantee to mean the life of a chair?  And then, who decided how long this particular chair will live? There are chairs that live for hundreds of years.  Why does this one have a projected life of only 15 years?  Is this chair destined to an early death?  Who decides these things, and on what basis?

I guess I still have a few years before I need to challenge my chair’s lifespan.  Hopefully it’ll still be alive in 2017.

an unrelated side note:

While at Humanscale, I see the most perfect desk lamp…as functional as it is beautiful.  It’s in MOMA’s permanent collection, never requires light bulb changes, and moves in multiple directions.  It is exquisitely minimalistic and I wish I needed one.  It’s called Horizon: