Monday, June 4, 2018

PART FOUR (of six): am I happy?

Things are moving quickly.

Today is my psyche evaluation. I'm told it'll be about three-hours long, and include both an interview and a personality test. In case you're wondering, I'm not being singled out. Anyone selected is required to do this. So it's definitely a good sign.

The one-hour interview is comfortable, and I find myself discussing things I haven't thought about in years. It's the 550 questions (all True or False) that I find more challenging.

It's pretty easy to answer False when the question reads, Someone is trying to poison me. Or,  I like hunting. But there are a couple of questions that are far more difficult to answer.

I am an important person. True/False
Hmmm. I've been easily answering the prior questions but this one stops me. I do not consider myself an important person. So do I answer False? But then I think, I hope I am important to my friends and family.  So would that make my answer True? But I haven't done anything that would make me important beyond the sphere of people who know me. Is that what the question means? Or maybe it's about how I view myself. Do I think I'm important?  I guess I'd answer yes to that. So while I ultimately chose the answer, True, I feel I am important to very few.

The most taxing question regards happiness. Are you happy most of the time? True/False.
No, I am not happy most of the time. But then, I am not unhappy most of the time either. Sometimes opposites don't apply. For example, having money doesn't make one happy. But not having money can certainly make one unhappy.  

A smart friend of mine (when I ask er later) answers the question this way:  "Happiness falls at a 7 or higher, and most days I'm a 5 or a 6." I agree with her. I mean, isn't that true of most people?  Most, yes. But not all.  I even know one or two people who are truly happy. 

I wish I were one of them. But I'm happy enough, and answer True.

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