self-isolating or not

Right after nine-eleven I was afraid that terrorists would come storming down my street, in open trucks, indiscriminately tossing bombs into closed windows. I strongly considered leaving the city, fearing I would never feel safe here again.  

I am glad I didn't, and over time, my fears abated.

Now it's different. I know, with absolute certainty, that I will feel safe going outside again without a mask and gloves. And I also know, with that same certainty, that the world outside will never be the same as it once was.

As of today, NY state has more confirmed cases of coronavirus than any country outside the US. And, NY has almost 10% of all reported deaths worldwide.

It's an invisible enemy; nothing dangerous is being thrown from open trucks. Now I just have to be more conscious of my neighbors. The elevator. A communal door knob. Really, pretty much any thing and any body.

And while some of us are more vulnerable than others (either by geography, age or health), we are all experiencing some degree of the same. Though our actions to stay safe may differ.

Here in NYC, I know many people like myself. They are pretty much self-isolating. I have one friend who hasn't left her apartment in over three weeks. But every day she walks 10,000 steps within the confines of her apartment and shared hallway.

Others I know would go crazy if they couldn't go outside and exercise. One friend bikes an hour a day. My fear for her is not that she will get the virus, but what if she falls? No one wants to go to an emergency room now. A friend of mine who recently had to go inside a hospital describe it this way, "What I saw would make you all faint. It's beyond belief." 

Yet some who live outside, but near the city, seem to believe that by stepping one foot inside Manhattan means catching the virus. 

My friends in Massachusetts are responding in various degrees of isolation. One walks daily with  a good friend; she feels comfortable that they are both healthy, and sufficiently careful. 
Another in Massachusetts — who is also scrupulously careful — does allow for someone to come in and clean her home. And a third, while still going grocery shopping, exhaustively protects herself. In describing a recent shopping trip, she writes:

Two things I forgot and left out of yesterday's shopping exploits:  (1) There were 2 people disinfecting carts, which they personally give to you, but since I didn't trust their disinfecting skills, I took out my little aerosol bottle (formally held a hair product) that I had washed and filled with rubbing alcohol and sprayed my cart; (2) Wearing my mask, which practically covers my entire face, made putting on and taking off my readers cumbersome, so I just kept them on.  New problem:  My breathing into the mask caused the glasses to fog up, so that I could only partially see all the people I was trying to bob and weave away from.  

I have a friend who is living on his boat in Florida.

One in Vermont who hasn't noticed a big difference in his everyday life.

Another in Colorado who is pretty much in isolation, except for her regular exercise of climbing a mountain than skiing down it.

A friend in Northern California who spent this past weekend in some remote forest somewhere (not because of covid-19, but because he likes the wilderness).

And my friends in Maine, Illinois and even Hawaii are all being very very careful.

There are no right answers as far as isolation goes. 

As for me, I will continue to stay in, at least mostly. The thought of getting sick while living alone is just too overwhelming to consider. 

And it gives me some comfort. I won't have to re-think every sneeze, every cough and every headache. 

It's allergy season now too.