unreachable

When Alexander was born, I foolishly believed that when he got to be about age five, I could finally stop worrying.  I don’t know why I thought five (or any age, really) would be the cut-off for a mother’s worrying about her child.

I guess as an inexperienced first mother, I worried about all sorts of things.  How would I know if my son were cold and needed more covers?  He likes to sleep on his stomach, but what about SIDS?  He’s almost six months old and doesn’t’ wave yet?  Is he eating enough?  Is he eating too much?  He sleeps through the night, is that okay?  All sorts of little things worried me.

And of course as Alexander grew older, bigger things worried me.  I needn't itemize that list.

So now my son is a junior in college.  I don’t see him so I don’t know what time he comes in.  Is he drunk or sober, stoned or straight?  Is he going somewhere in a car?  Is he attending all his classes? Are his friends all nice?  Blah, blah blah.

And even though my son has a history of ignoring my texts and calls, I still worry when he doesn’t respond within a few hours.  I think my parents had it easier.  In college, I didn’t have a cell phone or computer.  I probably spoke to my parents once or twice a week from a pay phone.  Or maybe I had a phone in my room. I don’t remember anymore.

So I call my son today.  I last spoke to him Friday afternoon.  I don’t leave messages anymore when I realized last year that he never listens to them; he just looks at his call list. Or at least that’s how he handles my calls.  I know, because he told me.

Around eight, I text Alexander, asking him to call.  Nothing.

Around ten, I start to get worried.  In my heart I know he's just avoiding me, but I start to picture all sorts of awful things involving gorges.

I text him again.  And again, nothing.

A little before eleven I am on the phone with M, angry and scared, but thinking I should only be the former.

Then I get an idea.  I’ll text his friend.  

John is great.  He does everything right.  Responds immediately.  Reassures me that my son hasn't been missing for days. And then offers to look for him.

My son’s usual excuses include, “Sorry, I fell asleep and just got your message.”  “I was in the library and couldn’t talk.”  “I forgot my phone.”  Tonight, just a few minutes after texting John, I get a new hybrid excuse from Alexander.

Amazing.  John's timing is impeccable.  He must have reached Alexander at the exact moment my son's batteries got recharged and he had returned from the library. 

I wonder, do all kids really think their parents are this naive?

I hope I learn from this.  But I know me.  When it happens next time (and it will happen again), I know I'll be worrying as if it's the first time.