Can
it really be 22 years ago since my son was born? The
memories are all so fresh.
Since
I was a little girl, I have always kept diaries. I suppose the only surprise about my blogging
is that I hadn't started sooner. In many of my entries, going back to when I was in college, my hope was always
that I’d be happily married and a mother.
While the former never quite happened, the latter did.
Becoming
a mother is absolutely the best thing that ever happened to me. I remember Alexander’s elementary school
principal once saying that when you become a parent, your heart forever walks
outside your body. I think of that quote
often.
Like most parents, I
want more for Alexander than I want for myself. I experience his hurts more deeply than
my own. And his triumphs make me happier than any of my own possibly could.
Alexander is
complicated. There are times I don’t
understand him. He might say I never do. His perspective of the world is different
from mine. I have a type-A personality; his is further down the alphabet.
When Alexander turned one, I
wrote him a long poem.
November 11, 1993. Sweater and hat made by Phyllis. |
It ends this way:
With
open eyes and grabby hands
Amazement
on your face.
So
eager to take every crumb,
All
life you do embrace.
Don’t
ever lose the passion and
The
awe each new day brings.
For
ceiling fans and cordless phones
And
other common things.
And
while I know that as you grow
Some
days will take their toll.
Your
happy spirit I do pray
Locks
firm within your soul.
Happy
birthday, baby. I love you.
Mom
November
11, 1993
My hopes for my son, along
with my passion, have not changed. I expect they never will.
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