40th anniversary

I met Tim when we both worked at Continental Bank in Chicago. He was in the Wealth Management division and I was doing HR work in the Trust Department.

He was handsome. Smart. Accomplished. And nice. Everyone liked Tim. He was one of those people about whom no one ever says a bad word. That was true then, and I'm sure it's still true now.

I wasn't then, and am not now.

But Tim appreciated my feistiness. I was more exaggerated than he was. A bit more wild. And he was never judgmental— one of the things I loved most about him. Tim was accepting of everyone, willing to try anything, and had a keen, analytical mind (having both a law degree and MBA).

On one of our first dates, we watched the Republican Convention. That was the year Gerald Ford was nominated. And though I had little interest in politics, I remember reading Newsweek before our date to brush up on the issues. My guess is that before my prep, I knew nothing about either Gerald Ford, or his strong opponent, Ronald Reagan.

Within a year of dating, Tim and I became engaged.  It was in December and I was at his place, not far from my own. Tim said something like, "We've been spending so much time together, we should just get married." I said yes, and a few months later we were.

We moved in together before the wedding.  Tim had just bought a floor-to-ceiling, two-bedroom apartment in a Mies van de  Rohe high-rise, across the street from where I currently lived. The building had a great outdoor pool, was near all my friends, and was right across from Lincoln Park. Everything about it was perfect.

In May we had an engagement party in Brockton. And I remember having doubts.  My smile doesn't even look genuine. I knew I wasn't 100% sure. But who is, I thought?

with sisters Jean and Valerie

On August 27, 1977, we got married. It was a beautiful wedding in Massachusetts. Friends from all over came. I wore the same dress my sister Valerie had worn two years before, hoping it'd give me the happiness she had found (and continues to find) with Abbey. But it didn't.

Within a year, I had moved out. I decided that Tim wasn't ambitious enough. I was immature and didn't know what I wanted. And poor, lovely Tim, put up with my foolish whines and wavering feelings.

Tim got a job in San Francisco and moved there.  I finished my MBA at Northwestern and moved to Boston for a job with Gillette. Bob, an ex-boyfriend and still current friend, kept in touch with Tim, as Bob also lived in the Bay Area.

Tim eventually married again and started his own company. He's been recognized as one of the top wealth managers in the country, even appearing on the cover of Worth Magazine not that long ago. 

40 years ago today I got married. What could have been didn't happen. But other good things did.