becoming sisyphus

Remember him?  He was a king in Greek mythology who was forced to roll a large rock up a steep hill.  Just before Sisyphus reached the top, the big bolder would roll back down the hill from its own weight, and thus poor Sisyphus would begin his task all over again.  He spent eternity performing a useless task.  That’s kind of how I feel.

Take this morning for example.

Last week I see a job for a Marketing Director at a major cable network and apply.  Never mind that I used to be a Senior VP.  I know the recruiter, though we last spoke in 2002.  I’ve always liked Beverly; still do.  We schedule a phone meeting for this morning.  After speaking awhile, she concludes, “You’re too senior.  They won’t hire you.”  I explain why I would be willing to take a job at a lower level than my qualifications would suggest.  And I know, as I am making my case, that I wouldn’t hire me either.  As Beverly candidly says, “The Marketing VP wants someone she can just tell what to do.  You’re not that person.  You’ve done her job; she wouldn’t want you.”  I know she’s right.  Then we get to talking and we both agree that there’s a hole in my experience:  I have never developed a social media campaign.  So really, even at the lower level, I’m no longer qualified.  Beverly is really trying.  But in the end she says, “I know a lot of people in your shoes.  I’m sorry I can’t be of more help.”

Next, a good friend writes to Kim, someone she knows who is well connected in media and search.  Kim, too, wants to help but is not sure how.  She asks me to look at a few specific companies and get back to her with my thoughts.  I will, but I’m not optimistic.

I am sitting on an email I drafted to someone I know well who owns a company.  It is dated January 10.  It is a heartfelt letter asking for help.  Specifically, I propose a six-month part-time contract and give examples of things I could do to help with this person’s business.  I am afraid of rejection so I don’t send it.  At some point I might, but I'm not ready yet.

I spend about a half hour on the Saks site contemplating whether or not to apply for a Director of Strategy position.  I decide my lack of retail experience is a major hindrance and don’t apply.

I am reading a lovely little book called Where’d You Go, Bernadette.  The main character has a virtual assistant in India.  I think, gee, I’d be great at being a virtual assistant.  I am exceptionally well-organized, responsible, and a great researcher for anyone looking for anything.  I go online and find Fancy Hands, and they are looking for people.  I decide to apply but first need to run to the bank to get a replacement debit card. I come home twenty minutes later and find this newly posted cutesy message on their web site:

Assistants at Fancy Hands: We're often looking for great people to join Fancy Hands as assistants. We usually hire in waves to ensure that we always have enough assistants to complete our customers' requests.  Looks like right now isn't one of those times. Please check back soon, so we can get Fancy together.

Guess I shouldn’t have gone to the bank.