if you really want to help...

I have been without steady employment since 2006.  In that time, I have tried to start two businesses, have had two consulting assignments (totaling about 12 months of work), and have applied for numerous jobs without getting even one interview. Concerned friends have made suggestions:

“You’d be great at Bergdorf’s.”

I’ve applied there — as well as at Bloomingdales and Saks.  I have filled out the required applications and never heard back.  I also spoke yesterday to a sales associate at Bloomingdlaes.  She's about my age, and also well-educated.  In three months there, she has still earned nothing.  It is all commissioned work.

“What about real estate?  I know someone who started over in real estate and now makes lots of money.”

Aside from having to take a $400 course and pass a state exam, and aside from having to work nights and weekends (“You have the time.”), I live in a highly competitive place.  I don’t know people who have money and I don't know people in the market for apartments.  Of the three people I know who are brokers, all of them tell me it is very difficult and none seem happy doing it.

“You love lululemon.  Try there.”

I did.  I completed their involved 15 short-answer application with creative, well-thought out answers.  I never heard a word back from them.  In the meantime, M’s son gets a job there straight out of high school, no problem at all.

“You are aiming too high.  You are not going to get the VP jobs anymore.”

Yes, thank you, I know.  That’s why I’ve dumbed-down my resume.  That is why the jobs I do apply for are director level positions or lower.

“I read about this women over 55 who couldn’t get a job here and is now working in Pakistan.  What about doing something like that?”

Of course, why didn’t I think of that?   I could leave my son, put on a burka, and move to a country where women aren’t safe.  What a great idea.

Today one of my closest friends, someone I talk to all the time, says, “You haven’t worked in a full time job for over 20 years, ever since Alexander was born.”

I guess she forgot my three years at Discovery, my two years at Procter and Gamble Productions, and my two years at PHD Media.  Also slipping her mind was my two-year consulting assignment at KPMG and another year at Rainbow Media, plus numerous short-term projects in between.  It hasn’t been easy, but I haven’t exactly been doing nothing for 20 years.  If a friend could forget all this, I imagine the perception among people who know me less well is the same.

I wake up every day afraid to leave my house.  I go on line and look for jobs, writing letters and sending updated revised resumes I know will be ignored.  I make calls.  I am frustrated and disappointed with my inability to earn a living.  I am not looking for suggestions from people.  Since I think about this all the time, it’d be unlikely that someone could suggest a line of work I haven’t considered.  So suggesting jobs in third world countries or retail stores is not helpful.  What would be helpful is this. 

Call me up and say,

“I know of this job…”

or

“I called Pepper Saltmyer who owes me a favor. She will meet with you.”

or

 “Farfel Jones needs someone to help him write copy for a new website.  I told him about you and he’ll be calling.” 

or

 “I sent your resume to my friend Mabel Fragin.  She has a three-month assignment you’d be perfect for.  She expects your call.”