here's what it takes...

In February I get a call and say, yes, I’m interested.

I get an email a week or so later and go online to fill out forms.  Lots and lots of detailed forms.  These take a few hours to complete.  I’m asked for three references.

My three references are called and are questioned about me, my experience, my skills, and my character.

I get a call telling me to come downtown to fill out more forms and get photographed and fingerprinted.  This takes another four hours.

This week my three references get a form they must complete about me.  This form asks if the information I previously provided (name, employment record, etc.) is in fact accurate.

My neighbor (someone I rarely speak to) calls me.  She wants to know what the official form she received from the government about me is all about.  Seems they want to verify that I live where I say I live.  Unbelievable.

Today, I take the wrong subway, switch to the right subway, and then get off at the wrong stop.  This takes over an hour.  I get to the right place, wait ten minutes, and then, with four others, raise my right hand and, “ swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic..."  Gee, I hope this doesn't mean I could end up in North Korea.

So I do all this, not to become a federal judge.  Not to be installed into the military.  Not to become a US Citizen.  Not to become a member of the FBI.  Not to serve on a jury.  No.  All this to become a $16.90/hour part-time-temporary- field representative for the US Census Bureau.

There must be a better way.  I only wish I could find it.