worries big and small

I’ve been waking from strange and disturbing dreams lately.  The other night I had a vivid dream straight from a horror movie, replete with people having cut out eyes.  Last night I was fired again from a job.  I tried calling friends but none were available.  My dad shows up healthy and wearing a big diamond earring in one ear.  In another, I’m a student at Cornell and can’t find my way to class.  I think I’m stressed.

The horrific news of the week still plays loudly.  There are the parents who rush to the hospital thinking their daughter’s friend is injured and their own is hurt, only to get to the hospital to learn the opposite is true.  Then there is the man from NH who sees his son on TV, being helped by a stranger in a cowboy hat.  Later he learns that his son has suffered the loss of both legs.  It is both senseless and heartbreaking.

I have no problems by comparison, but still, I worry.

I keep looking for employment and find nothing. It is frustrating and frightening.  And as a mother, I of course worry about my son.  He hasn’t found a job yet for the summer, and I question how hard he’s looking.  He’s not sure where he’s living next year (Cornell only guarantees housing through sophomore year) and the semester ends in a few weeks.  I send him a jury duty notice a few weeks ago and I don’t think he’s called yet to tell the Court he’s a student a long way from New York City; there are serious penalties for not calling or showing.  And soon finals will be starting.  Do I jump in and help where I can?  Do I continue prodding him to look, call, whatever?  Do I let him solve these problems alone and pay the consequences if he doesn’t? 

I know these issues will eventually be resolved, and in the scheme of life they are not that big, but still, I worry.  And pray for those whose worries are so much bigger than my own.