a short story about my cable company

Two days and two nights without television.  No Matt and Savannah in the morning.  No John Oliver and Jay Leno at night.  And no DVR’ed shows.  I feel disconnected from the world.

Here’s my little story of how this came to be.

TUESDAY

10:30 PM:  

The TV screen in my bedroom is pixilating.  I try to re-set the cable box and nothing happens.  Just a blinking light.

The TV in the living room is fine.

I call Time Warner Cable.  An automated voice informs me there is an outage in the area and  they are working on it.  “It should be fixed soon,” I'm told when I get connected to a real person — a real person who has no explanation for why one box is working and the other isn’t.

WEDNESDAY

8:00 AM:

No change.  I call TW again.  This time I’m told the problem has something to do with Con Ed and they need to wait until Con Ed gets to work at 9am.  Apparently, the automated voice from last night was misinformed.

11:00 AM:

I return from Weight Watchers and have a message on my phone.  Again, an automated one.  TW is happy to tell me the problem is fixed.  

Except it isn’t.  My cable box looks the same.  No time.  Just some rotating numbers and letters.  I re-set it.  Nothing changes.

I call.  I am told a signal will be sent to my house that should fix the problem.  It doesn’t.

11:50 AM

I call back, and get Devonne.  She is quite nice, but “the next available appointment is on Friday.”  Having no TV for almost three days is not acceptable. I ask for a supervisor.  I am on hold for a very long time, though Devonne checks in every ten minutes or so offering solace.  In the meantime, I am forced to listen to some dreadful-sounding crackly music.  Periodically an announcer offering me random facts interrupts the so-called music.  “Did you know that in 1904, grease pole competitions and mud-wrestling were popular sports?  Gee no, I didn’t know that.  Thanks.

Finally, after 38 minutes on hold (really, I’m not exaggerating), Devonne comes back on and says, “The supervisor’s line is still busy, but in the meantime an appointment has opened for tomorrow.”  Great.  Now I’m thinking, she’ll tell me it’s between 8 and 5.  But Devonne surprises me.  “Someone can be there between four and five.” I’m thrilled.

THURSDAY

3:45 PM

The cable guy arrives a few minutes early.  “Yup, it’s your box,” he observes.  He switches it out.  My TV is back.  All in about ten minutes.

So just when I am starting to like my cable company….

I call to get credit for my two-day loss of world news, culture and entertainment.  $5.45.  That’s what I’ll be credited.  When I suggest that’s small compensation for my inconvenience, I’m told, “Well, we didn’t charge you for the service call.”  Huh?????  The service call to fix my piece of RENTED equipment that just stopped working?

My like is short-lived.

The end.