"don't call me; I'll call you."

Today was my last day of mentoring until the fall.  Going in, this was my hope:

    That I would be assigned a student with whom I could make a difference.

    That I would find opportunities for this student that she may not have found otherwise.

    That our relationship would continue through the summer.

    That I would help her through the college application process, and in the end, she would be accepted at a good school.

But that is not how it is playing out. 

The first session with Jasmine (not her real name) three weeks ago is a good one.  I am optimistic.

The second session with Jasmine, last week, does not go as well.  She arrives 20 minutes late for the 90-minute session.  She looks like she wishes she were somewhere else.

The final session is today.  Our goal is to identify nine colleges of varying degrees of selectivity by the end of 90 minutes.  It is a near-impossible task given the criteria Jasmine has selected.  She is only interested in attending school in one of two states.  She is looking for a specific type of program that few schools offer.  She wants to be near a city, "a place where there are fast food restaurants nearby."  Or if not that, at least a nice neighborhood.  She doesn’t want to be far from home, but she will consider schools further than 100 miles away if they happen to be in New York or Pennsylvania (she likes these states).    Forget Massachusetts, Connecticut and New Jersey.  “I don’t know those states and wouldn’t be comfortable there.” 

Based on Jasmine’s criteria, we identify only four schools.  One is an Ivy, one has only a 15% graduation rate (we nix that one), one is a state school in another state (she would unlikely get much financial aid), and one is a NY State school.  She seems angry with me for finding only four.

I ask her if something is wrong.  She tells me she is tired of people telling her what schools to apply to.  “I want to pick the schools where I want to go.”  I agree with her, but suggest she widen her criteria.  We eventually identify nine possible schools, but Jasmine’s heart is in only three of them. 

I tell Jasmine I’d love to stay in touch over the summer.  We exchange emails.  I tell her I’d be happy to meet with her more.  She says simply, “Feel free to email me at any time.”  Hmmmm.  Not exactly an inviting response.