drama at a comedy

I’m on the BAFTA screening committee.  Working with Twentieth Century Fox, I arrange a screening for THE HEAT at an AMC multiplex theater on 42^nd Street.  BAFTA does not have its own venue, so the studios pay for space at theaters and screening rooms throughout the city.

I arrive early as I am doing the introduction.  We expect about 200 people.  The ladies room across from the theater is disgusting.  No toilet paper.  Water all over the place.  Clogged and overflowing toilets.  I exit behind a well-dressed-normal-looking woman who approaches the three security people from Fox, plus one BAFTA representative — they are all standing outside theater #9 where the screening will be shown.  “The lady’s room is awful,” she tells them.  They of course have nothing to do with this.  I overhear her and say, “I know, you’re right.  I’ll go get someone to clean it up.”  I turn and walk away.  I’m about thirty feet away, heading toward the escalator, when I hear her shout, “Nice that you care, BITCH!”  And she’s loud. 

I return and ask for her name.  She gives it (probably not her real one) and I ask if she’s with BAFTA.  “What’s that?” she answers.  In other words, no.

I go down a level and find the appropriate people to 1) clean the bathroom, and 2) get the woman removed from the theater.

The security people from the theater approach her. She has transformed into an amnesiac.  She looks at me and says perplexed, “I’m sorry.  I have no idea who you are.  I don’t’ think we’ve ever met.”  “You don’t remember calling me a bitch?” I ask.   “I never did that,” she answers calmly, suggesting of course that I am the crazy one.  I say to the security staff, “ I have four witnesses.  Ask them.  They are all too eager to tell you.”  She looks over, and the four people in front of the theater are nodding in agreement.

She is escorted out, with a look of confusion.  Then I hear her say, “Boy, that woman is so intense.  I didn’t even do anything.”

I announce the film.  Give the requisite thanks.  Take my seat.  And watch a movie that really makes me laugh.