fraud protection, really?!

I get a text from Jill early this morning.  Do I want to meet her at the Rag and Bone Sample sale near Chelsea Market?  I tell her no, and feel good.

But then it gnaws at me.  R&B’s amazing boots.  White tees.  Excellent reviews from last year’s sale. 

By noon, I am foraging through the very long table of tees.  I see none I like, and wander over to the shoes.  There I find a great little pair of short navy boots.  I was hoping they’d be uncomfortable, but they are not.  At 60% off, it’s a great deal. I buy them.

Alexander needs new jeans and we had planned to meet uptown after he was done with work.  But there’s a great selection at this sale, so I ask him to meet me here.  Now I'll have to wait a couple of hours.  But there are worse places to wait.

I grab some soup in Chelsea Market, then find a quiet little park on 15^th and 10^th. 

Around 2:30 Alexander arrives.  He finds two perfect pair of jeans and a much-needed distressed leather belt.  We go to pay and I take out my Citibank debit card.  The same card I used a few hours earlier for my boots.  “I’m sorry,"  the young, hip, nose-pierced cashier says.  “But your card has been declined.  Do you have another one you can use?”  I know my card should be fine.  I tell her to try again.  She does.  I can tell from her sorrowful eyes that my card has been rejected again.  I use my Amex and leave.

I get home and there’s a message on my phone asking me to call the Fraud Division at Citibank.  They’ve noticed suspicious activity on my card and have put a block on it. 

I call. The first person is so unhelpful I ask and get Chris, the supervisor.  Here’s the abbreviated version of a lengthy, frustrating and eventually pointless conversation.

Chris:  "We noticed suspicious activity on your account and that’s why we put a block on it."

Me:  "What kind of suspicious activity?"

Chris: "A pattern of unusual spending?"

Me:  "What do you mean?"

Chris:  "Multiple purchases at the same place."

Me:  "First of all, we are talking two purchases, and two is not multiple.  It is just one more than one.  Further, two does not a pattern make. A pattern is a series of events." (I know this Chris guy is hating me by now; I would hate me too if this weren't so moronic).  "And most importantly, are you saying that I can't buy more than one thing at the same  store?"

Chris (switching positions):  "Well, we flag accounts when we see unusually high-valued purchases."

Me:  "But these purchases weren’t expensive!" 

Chris (ignoring my comment):  "Our Fraud Division also tracks purchases in places where the cardholder doesn’t typically frequent."

Me (not calm, as you can imagine):  "Are you kidding me?  You mean I can only shop at places I have been to before?  And by the way, I was shopping in NYC and I LIVE HERE!"

I have a debit/credit card I can’t really use as a credit card because the Fraud Protection restrictions are so restrictive they prevent normal usage.

I think about this for awhile and then finally it dawns on me.  Oh I get it.  The only thing that makes any sense.

I must have a friend who has wiggled her way into Citibank's Fraud Division to prevent me from  buying clothes!