graduation guidelines

M and her son Harrison are in town.

They have been invited (along with M’s husband and other son) to a graduation party for an ex-neighbor’s daughter.  She is receiving a graduate degree from Columbia and has organized a small party on her rooftop. 

At the last minute M gets an email from the graduate’s mother that two people have cancelled, and how exciting, M and Harrison can now attend the actual graduation, not just the celebration. 

M is kinder than I am and responds yes.  She even tells me later how much she enjoyed it, particularly the speaker, Temple Grandin who speaks on autism and cows.  I’m sure I would have found an excuse not to go.

I think there should be rules about inviting people to your child’s graduation.  DON’T, unless the invitee has explicitly expressed a desire to attend, will be offended if not asked, or if the invitee's presence  is particularly meaningful to the graduate.

Because really, most graduations are incredibly dull.  Occasionally, the commencement speaker may make it worth attending, but if the speech is that good, you can always read it  online, see it on youtube, or watch a live webcast.  And unless the class is under 50 (and what college is that small?), the names of each graduate should NEVER EVER be read.

In between the graduation and the rooftop party, I meet Harrison and M for a sublime late lunch.

It’s the perfect way to spend the afternoon. And I can’t help but think, maybe my mother has the right idea about a combined lunch/dinner.