crime scene?

I walk into my apartment yesterday, glad to be home. 

I go into my kitchen to put away the lobster meat I've carried back from the Cape. 

My kitchen is a mess.  

The first thing I notice is my floor.  It is covered with brown stains that look like dried blood.

Two counters are filthy with similar brown stains.

right side of sink

left side of sink

There is more of the same kind of stain dripping into my dishwasher.

Nothing is leaking from the sealing.  And nothing has spilled in the refrigerator.

I have no idea what any of this is.  And yesterday, being a Sunday, there is no one in my building who can help.  I don’t want to mess with a crime scene so I leave it.

Today my super comes up.  He, too, is perplexed.  I suggest maybe we should have the substance of the stains tested.  I’ve been watching a lot of CSI lately.  He takes a more pragmatic approach and offers to clean it up with bleach.  I let him.

Who knows, maybe there was a murder in my kitchen while I was gone, and all evidence of the crime has just been erased, "tampered with" as DB Russell might say.  

But the alternative thought is also scary— that I unknowingly spilled soy sauce from the sushi I had before leaving for seven days. 

Either way, this mystery mess will remain unsolved.  Unless, of course, someone is reported missing.