Nothing goes as planned today.
Early morning
My
New York Times isn’t delivered. Perhaps
I should have given the paperboy a bigger holiday gift. It’s the second time this week.
M is coming for a few days. Last time she was here
she implied (using kind, diplomatic words) that my bathroom was frightful. It’ll be nice to show her the update; it
should be done by the time she arrives on Sunday.
The medicine cabinet was
supposed to be delivered (from Home Depot) a week ago today. It wasn't. I speak to Rhonda who promises me its
arrival today, between 8am and 12. The contractors
who are doing work in the apartment above mine have generously agreed to put
the medicine cabinet in for me.
Around 8am
My phone
rings. Caller ID spells the words Home
Depot. I expect it’s the driver calling to tell me he’s in the neighborhood
and will be arriving soon. It's not.
It’s
Cheryl calling to tell me my medicine cabinet is in and she’d like to schedule
a delivery date. Huh? Apparently Rhonda's absolutely-without-a-doubt promise was our little secret; no
one else in the Home Depot organization knows anything about it.
Cheryl apologizes profusely
for Rhonda’s error and says she’ll look into it and call me back. She arranges for a new delivery between ten
and two today, absolutely positively.
Around 11
Mike,
my wonderful handyman comes to install my shower door. Finally.
It’s been two weeks and today is the day Mike promised to do it. I don’t want my guest showering without a
door. Mike comes up, opens the huge box
taking up half my living room, and says, “Miss F--- (I’ve known Mike for years
and despite my insistence, he never uses my first name), I’m sorry, but this is
far more complicated than I thought it would be.” Mike, who can fix anything, and never ever
gets flustered, calls me over. “Look at
all these pieces. I’ve never seen
anything like this. I have no idea how
to do this.” I am looking at a million
small pieces and pages of instruction.
It looks hopelessly difficult.
Now what? Mike says that he and Roberto, the building
super, will have to look at it and see if they can figure it all out, but he’ll
need time. Lots of it. So, it won’t be today. I hope it’ll be this
month.
1:50pm
My phone rings. “Hi, this is Lindsay calling from Home
Depot. I just want to confirm your delivery
for tonight." You gotta be kidding? What happened to sweet Cheryl’s promise of
no-later-than-two? Turns out Cheryl forgot to share our conversation with
anyone.
So now, the contractors who
leave at five will not be able to install my medicine cabinet before M arrives
on Sunday. And I have a shower door that
Mike and Roberto have no idea how to put up.
I get Lindsay’s manager,
Saika, on the phone. After listening to
my saga, she arranges for a store employee from Home Depot to come tomorrow at
10 to install the medicine cabinet. Given the history, I ask her three times to confirm the time. She does.
At 7pm, the medicine cabinet
finally arrives. Let’s hope the guy from
Home Depot comes tomorrow at ten to install it.
After all, I’ve been promised he would.
And Home Depot never breaks its promises.
Addendum:
10 am comes; no one
arrives. I call Home Depot. Stephen answers Saika’s line and knows nothing
about an installation. There is nothing
in the system. I am surely now in a
Kafka novel.
I tell (not calmly) Stephen
the brief history. He tells me he’ll
look into it. He does, and by 11 he has
the verdict: The manager vetoed the installation
because the store employee is not insured to do it, and their professional
installers only do full kitchens and bathrooms.
Ok, but why did no one tell me?
Without going through the
details, here’s the very acceptable result, now confirmed via email from Stephen, my new favorite person:
On Feb 22, 2014, at 11:32
AM, Steve @HomeDepot.com wrote:
Dear
Lyn,
Once
again I would like to apologize for the difficulties you have endured with
delayed deliveries and missed appointments. My store manager has agreed
to reimburse you for the installation charges you incur for your medicine
cabinet and shower door. You may forward the bill to him at …
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