a fish tale

Robyn and I meet at 9:30 this morning.  Despite the cold, we walk to Home Depot, about a mile from where we live.  We both have unlimited Metrocards, but the exercise feels good.

We split up when we arrive.  Robyn does her thing in the shade department, and I check on the status of my shower door and medicine cabinet.  I leave and walk a block to my favorite new grocery store, Whole Foods.

When I was visiting M in Boston, we shopped there and I fell in love with three items:

    WF’s pre-made fuji apple and cranberry tuna fish (amazing)

    A mesclun, cranberry, and goat cheese salad (two for $6)

    Honest Teas

My order of course extends beyond these items.  Mixed roasted vegetables.  Squash with cranberries.  And I’ll need a main course.  Fish, I’m thinking.  I spot a salmon, marinated in ginger and orange. The guy behind the counter is very helpful.  He tells me it’s one of the department’s most popular items, and even suggests the serving size: six to eight ounces.  He suggests baking it at 350 for 15 minutes.  I buy a piece.

My entire purchase comes to a little over $25.  Another reason to love the store, I think.  I take the bus home and unpack.  That’s when I discover why my bill is so low.  No salmon.  Could my lip-balm-applying cashier have forgotten to ring it up?  I’m sure it was in my cart.

I call Whole Foods, explain the problem, and ask if one piece of fish can be delivered.  I am handed over to Brittany, a Customer Service manager.  She tells me they can only deliver the item if I’d paid for it already, which I hadn’t.  I discuss options for payment.  “I’ll give you my credit card over the phone.  The same one I used in the store.”  “No, sorry, we can’t do that.”  “Okay,” I suggest.  “I’ll pay the delivery person whatever I owe.” “No, I’m sorry, we can’t do that either.”

Brittany explains it this way.  “We could deliver the fish to you if you’d already paid for it, but not if you hadn’t.  Otherwise we have no way of recreating the order.”

So I make a suggestion.  “Go to the fish department. Tell the guy behind the counter you want a piece of the salmon, about 6 ounces.  Have him wrap it.  Then deliver it.”  She agrees. Really? Is the store truly this great?

A few hours pass and my fish hasn’t arrived.  Now I’m wondering if maybe Brittany was saying yes to placate me. I call to check on my delivery.  Brittany is on break, but I get someone else.  I begin, “Oh, hi, I’m just calling to check on a delivery.”  Without adding any more clarification, Jasoda (real name) asks, “For fish?”  I start laughing, imagining Brittany telling everyone around her about the nutcase who wants one piece of fish delivered.

But sure enough, at 4:15, my buzzer rings. "Delivery coming up," announces my doorman. I tip the guy $2 and ask how much the fish is. “No charge,” he tells me.

I wasn't looking, though now I've found, one more reason to love Whole Foods.